I have had a detailed living will written by my attorney for a long time that I regularly review and update. As an RN that has seen such tragedy and sadness, I knew what I did and did not want to occur in the event of a catastrophic event. My family knows and my health care proxy (and back up) will abide by my wishes. Although I am 69, I have discussed this with my adult kids because age alone is not the deciding factor. I have seen children and young adults go through this too.
I’ve had the conversation with my family. I live with chronic pain and chronic fatigue from multiple illnesses. I want all lifesaving treatment up to needing CPR. At that point, just let me go. My days are hard and I welcome relief. My family knows this was a difficult decision but they will honour my wishes. It’s a comfort to have this planned in advance.
One of the first things I did when I was diagnosed was to write down my health choices in an Advanced Care document. My family didn’t want to talk about it at all at first — they just put their fingers in their ears. But now my wife and children can talk about it freely and listen to what I want.
It’s also important to make your afterlife wishes known for the same reasons. It’s very hard to be a will executor and stressful to decide what to do with funerals etc. Discuss it! Write it all down! I found a lovely funeral detector that spent an hour with me, helping me with choices. She even told me not to forget my playlist of music I would like (lots of Nick Drake). This is not not to make sure your family does everything you want — if they do something different, that’s fine — It’s about taking away their need to worry about it.
Last one: I’ve always taken care of all the bills and pensions etc, and my wife has no clue how to do any of it. I made a document (I called it After the Rainbow), that tells my family where all the money is hidden, how to pay the electricity bill and how much council tax to pay. We can even joke about it now.
Death is a part of life.
I have had a detailed living will written by my attorney for a long time that I regularly review and update. As an RN that has seen such tragedy and sadness, I knew what I did and did not want to occur in the event of a catastrophic event. My family knows and my health care proxy (and back up) will abide by my wishes. Although I am 69, I have discussed this with my adult kids because age alone is not the deciding factor. I have seen children and young adults go through this too.
I’ve had the conversation with my family. I live with chronic pain and chronic fatigue from multiple illnesses. I want all lifesaving treatment up to needing CPR. At that point, just let me go. My days are hard and I welcome relief. My family knows this was a difficult decision but they will honour my wishes. It’s a comfort to have this planned in advance.
One of the first things I did when I was diagnosed was to write down my health choices in an Advanced Care document. My family didn’t want to talk about it at all at first — they just put their fingers in their ears. But now my wife and children can talk about it freely and listen to what I want.
It’s also important to make your afterlife wishes known for the same reasons. It’s very hard to be a will executor and stressful to decide what to do with funerals etc. Discuss it! Write it all down! I found a lovely funeral detector that spent an hour with me, helping me with choices. She even told me not to forget my playlist of music I would like (lots of Nick Drake). This is not not to make sure your family does everything you want — if they do something different, that’s fine — It’s about taking away their need to worry about it.
Last one: I’ve always taken care of all the bills and pensions etc, and my wife has no clue how to do any of it. I made a document (I called it After the Rainbow), that tells my family where all the money is hidden, how to pay the electricity bill and how much council tax to pay. We can even joke about it now.
Write it all down! Your family will thank you.